#BodyPositive 2016 – Stop shame culture

The body positive movement achieved much last year.  Tess Munster became the world’s first morbidly obese supermodel.  Ashley Graham became the first plus-sized model to be featured in Swimsuit Illustrated.

More and more heavy women feel comfortable enough to reveal their figure flaws in fatkinis, crop tops and other trendy apparel.  Clothing chains stocked their merchandise in larger sizes.  More plus-sized stores and designers offered overweight women much more fashion variety.

Fat shaming has declined.  While some bigger girls still report being humiliated on the streets and in public areas, these incidents have dwindled.  Bigger amusement park rides, reinforced seats and wider spaces are provided to cater to growing bodies.

It’s a huge achievement!

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What should come next to improve relations between the obese and normal people?  What can earn them more acceptance and respect?  Perhaps what the body positive community should consider is to stop shame culture once and for all.

Heavy women should accept that not everyone is obligated to find their bodies attractive.  This is the reason there’s a saying ‘there is somebody for everybody’.  Slender women don’t shame men who prefer fuller figures, so why can’t our goodwill be reciprocated?

Obese women should accept that not everyone is obligated to agree with their eating habits, the research articles they quote and the claims that they hardly eat anything and run/swim miles but cannot lose any weight.

It’s time to stop labelling everything ‘fat shaming’.  Some of us actually accord the overweight the same amount of respect as everybody else.  What get us riled are the lies and delusions some HAES extremists spread.

What annoy us are the insults and insinuations that we’re ugly on the inside, lacking in compassion/empathy/kindness/whatever and we’re horrid people/haters/trolls/shamers just because we dare to disagree.  What irritates is the erasure of our freedom to voice our opinions on a public forum or platform.

The body positive community wants respect and acceptance.  Well, the solution is right before your eyes.  Do you want it enough?

Wishing you fun,

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Fat girls need love too

If I’m really a fat hater, I wouldn’t have fat friends.  As it is, I do and enjoy their company very much.  However, the fatlogic spread by body positive activists is something I can’t agree with.  Encouraging people to adopt unhealthy lifestyles does a lot of harm to society.

It’s selfish of those who’ve given up on themselves to spread untruths such as healthy weight people needing to starve themselves in order to maintain their trim physiques.  Impressionable young people believe it and end up doing harm to themselves by stuffing their faces with junk food.

However, I do agree when I read the comment, ‘Fat girls need love too.’  Need.  Not deserve.  Being in a meaningful relationship and being cherished is 1 of the best things in life.  Why should women miss out on this just because they’re heavier?  Happily, many of them are able to find their significant others : )

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There’re undeniably men out there who prefer heavy bodies and they shouldn’t be shamed for what they find attractive.  I certainly don’t shame them; they’re free to be with who they want.  Similarly, I don’t understand why some obese women shame guys who prefer women of healthy weight.  C’mon, be fair to them!  You have your taste, they have theirs.

Some of my fat friends found love and long term relationships.  I’m happy for them; it certainly is a good thing.  Those who haven’t, well, some of us think that they should have realistic standards – this applies not only to women, but men as well.  People need to have realistic expectations when dating : )

Still, to those larger ladies who managed to find love, good for you.  I wish you happiness.  Do spread the hope that others will also find their special someone.  What is life without hope?

Wishing you fun,

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Short getaway to Melaka

It was the Good Friday long weekend.  My cousin, K, his wife, Cherry, his daughter, Noe and I drove up to Melaka for a wonderful short break, a comfortable stay at a spanking new hotel, sightseeing and good food!  You can see the food over at Team DBG soon, as I’ll be writing about how you can minimise weight gain while on vacation : )

In the meantime, here’s a peek at The Pines, Melaka! 😀

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Such a delightfully spacious room! 😀

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Bloody fantastic! 😀

After dumping our bags, it was time for dinner.  The drive there was exhausting as we were stuck in a looooooooong line at the Singapore and Malaysia customs and it took longer than usual to even reach Melaka.  The sight of a luscious buffet lifted our spirits tremendously!

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There was so much variety, even a veggie counter where you can select your veggies and have them cooked the way you like it!  What was there to do but indulge?  We had plate after plate of delicious, nutritious food.

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Cherry has dropped several dress sizes after adopting healthier eating habits that I introduced : )  She can now wear clothes that are more snug and, best of all, she feels lighter and more energetic!  After K saw the results, he, too, has started to make the changes to his own eating habits : )

The next day, we headed to the malls and shopped to our hearts’ content!  I bought a pair of pink torn shorts and Cherry was amazed that I took the smallest size at FOS and actually looked good in it!  I also bought a pair of pretty white skorts and 2 knitted tops.  Happy as…………! 😀

A holiday is relaxing and helps bond family together.  Looking forward to more getaways with them : )

Wishing you fun,

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Is Tess Munster a good role model?

Growing up, we had our role models.  Mine were Grandma and Mummy.  From both, I learnt about the importance of grooming before stepping out of the house.  From each of them, I learnt different lessons.  Grandma inculcated proper eating habits by feeding me fresh food during childhood and ensuring that my meals were always balanced.  She encouraged me to pursue higher education and obtain a degree.

Mummy taught me the importance of being financially independent.  She showed by example what it is to lead a life of integrity, high moral values and principles.  She made sure Little Bro and I understood that nobody is obligated to us in life and that whatever we wanted, we needed to earn it – respect, accolades, achievements, money, etc.  In an environment where entitled millenials expect everything handed to them on a silver platter, we stood out with our ethics and willingness to work for what we want.

So now we come to Tess Munster.  Lauded as a role model and worshipped by fat activists for being the first (and most) obese supermodel, she started the massively successful #effyourbeautystandards campaign, which she tried to turn into a business by having the slogan printed on t-shirts, bags and other merchandise.  She has tons of followers and fans alike.

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But is Ms Munster a good role model?  Late last year, she got into trouble when many of her supporters ordered those #effyourbeautystandard products but didn’t receive the goods they paid for.  When they tried to contact her using social media, they were blocked and effectively silenced.  It was only when they threatened a class action against her was she forced to issue a public apology.

She claimed that she wasn’t experienced at running a business and ran into logistics difficulties.  She claimed that the proceeds from the merchandise sold would go to charity but was forced to eat her words (along with all the pizzas and cupcakes she inhales) when it was exposed that not a single cent went to any charity.  In a nutshell, she gave excuses for her dishonesty like the excuses she gives for her unhealthy state.

What does this boil down to?  Greed.  Tess is as greedy for money as she is for food.  Gluttony is an ingrained trait in this morbidly obese woman.  So are those fat activists who relate to her and hail her as a role model just as greedy, unethical and shameless as her?  Is this why they identify with her?  We hold the people we admire as our role models.  With this parting shot, I let you decide.

Wishing you fun,

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Our best gives us results – new post up!

In a previous entry, I shared that Cherry dropped 2 dress sizes after adopting a healthy lifestyle similar to mine.  All she did was eat balanced meals comprising fresh food and move about instead of being sedentary.  In just 5 months, she went from being an Asian size XL down to size M!

With more confidence, Cherry now flaunts her slimmer body in those brand new clothes I gave her.  Not only that, she shed inches of unhealthy visceral fat.  She’s delighted that she now has a waist and a flatter belly.  This is because she wanted to be healthy enough to put in sustained effort.

This isn’t The Biggest Loser.  I didn’t put her on some rigorous and punishing exercise regimen.  I didn’t force her to starve herself on ridiculously low calorie meals.  The last thing I want is for her to suffer from malnutrition!  Instead, the aim is to introduce her to healthy habits which she can teach my cousin and niece.

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This week, over at Hype The Fitness, I show you the myth that the body positive community likes to perpetuate.  They claim that exercising only caused them to grow fatter.  You’ll find out the possible reasons for their failure to lose weight and you can avoid committing the same mistakes once you begin the journey.

Half-hearted attempts are not going to work.  Quick results achieved using extreme methods won’t work.  But if you’re determined enough, you’ll achieve steady progress and become the healthiest version of yourself.  With new-found confidence, you’ll want to pretty yourself up all the time!

If you claim to love yourself and your body, if you want to be around longer for your loved ones, if you want to lead a better quality life, then you’ll need to take that first step.  It might be daunting, but we’re here to give you the tips to get started.  After that, you can make changes on your own.

Start today!

Wishing you fun,

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Girl times are so important!

While romantic relationships are meaningful, it’s important for us to cultivate our own friendships with women.  Much as our men love us, they still ‘cave time’ away from us.  We should allow them that space for their hobbies and whatever they want to do.  There’re many other things to occupy us in the meantime.

Having our own hobbies and friends help us maintain our identities.  Yes, we need our partners, but a symbiotic relationship never works in the long run.  We still need to remain who we are as individuals too.  I love catching up with the girls.  Like men, we talk about the issues important to us, which they, coming from Mars, will never understand 😛

While it’s fun to rib and tease one another when we’re interacting with the boys, it’s with the girls that we remember what it’s like to be women.  Well, that is if our friends are the feminine type 😛  I don’t know how to handle ‘strong and independent’ women 😛

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With my girls, I can chat about all the girly things – clothes, gaining weight (bleah!), travel, pretty stuff, yadda yadda yadda.  And just as men complain about their partners, so do we girls when none of the guys are present 😛  It’s part and parcel of female bonding, if you will, and it’s perfectly healthy! 😛

When we’re back together with our partners, there’re stories to share and more topics to chat about.  It keeps things interesting between us, rather than have nothing more to discuss.  Yes, I love my man, but I don’t need to contact him throughout the day unless it’s for the necessities.

Rather, focusing on other people outside of the relationship makes daily life more interesting.  Once we’re together, there’s a lot more to share with each other.  Girl times are so precious.  I can’t give up my friends for a relationship and neither should any woman : )

Wishing you fun,

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Gonna photograph a hunky friend!

Tiger, a cutie, shyly asked if I was any good at photography.  Well, my phone happens to have a pretty good inbuilt camera! 😛  When asked why, he said he feels more confident about his body.  Soh desu neh!  Anyone who feels good about his/her physique definitely wants to capture it in images!  Of course I agreed to help! 😀

So we set a date.  Once we’re done, I’ll share some of his photos in this blog and, likewise, in Team DBG if Bryan agrees to it : )  Body positivity shouldn’t be exclusively for women.  Why should we alienate the men just because some hussies scream nonsense about the ‘patriarchy’?

Men receive criticism about their physiques as well.  Unlike women who rage against the patriarchy and socially constructed beauty standards, the guys just suck it up and either live with it or do something to improve themselves.  Heck, they have it harder; we just need to not blimp out, but they need to look like Conan The Barbarian!

The day will come when men scream that Conan is body shaming them.

Thankfully, my friend doesn’t believe in protesting about body shaming.

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Neither do I.  Instead, Tiger decided to take matters into his own hands by becoming more active.  With effort comes confidence.  Whatever people say about his physique, it won’t matter.  He’s happier and feels motivated enough to continue his better lifestyle habits.  This is how I feel as well.

As a friend, why wouldn’t I support his effort to make a positive change?  He loves his body enough to take better care of it.  A real friend will be there cheering him on and that’s what I intend to do : )  We want the best for our friends; not enable them when they do themselves harm.

Watch this space! 😛

Wishing you fun,

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