Sometime in July, there was a woman who wrote an open letter to a gentleman who she met on Tinder and they went on a date. The date went well and they enjoyed themselves. However, she was shattered when, while she was on another date with another guy, she received a text from this gentleman. He rejected her.
Her story went viral. There was massive outpouring of sympathy because this woman was rejected for her weight. The poor man, who’d made an effort to explain to her as kindly as possible the reasons for his rejection, was shamed and vilified.
You know what? Rejection happens ALL THE DAMN TIME. If there isn’t sufficient chemistry, if either party doesn’t feel THE SPARK, then the result is rejection. Personally, I don’t think the gentleman was an asshole. One can tell from his text that HE TRIED TO BE NICE.
But no. People need to crucify him just because of that 1 small transgression. Rejection due to her weight. If it’d been about her personality, it would’ve been rejection all the same. This isn’t utopia. We live in reality. Rejection always happens, so get over it already!
So now I come to the second bit. Larger women complaining about rejection from fit men. Now there’re varying levels of fitness, so I’m not sure what kind they’re talking about, but I’m assuming they’re guys with reasonable fitness and not the buff Greek god gym bunnies.
I’ll give it to you straight. Reasonably fit guys prefer to be with a partner who has something in common with them. They eat well and they exercise. If you have unhealthy habits, you’ll be less than supportive of his efforts. Imagine the number of disagreements throughout the relationship!
My man isn’t a gym bunny but he takes care of himself. So do I. When he’s feeling lazy, I roll him off the couch so we can do some activity together. He trusts me to monitor his health and nutrition when preparing meals. Instead of disagreeing over food, I try to strike a balance between his tastes and the benefits from food.
Because he can rely on me for discipline, it frees his mind and time for work. When he gets home, there’s a hot and tasty dinner made from fresh ingredients waiting for him. When we travel and indulge in lots of delicious food, we hit the treadmills together. There isn’t any sulking nor whining, we just change and head to the gym.
Reasonably fit men want the same. And if we’re talking about the buff gym bunnies with the bodies of Greek gods, it’s going to be helluva stricter. If you’re not prepared to adapt to his lifestyle, there’re only going to be many unpleasant arguments again. Which guy would want to sign up for this?
So please, ladies. Be a little more realistic. If you think you can compliment the lifestyles of the Greek gods you want, then go for it. But if you can’t, then don’t accuse them of being shallow for rejecting you because – whilst appearance is partly to do with it – your different lifestyles will only clash too much in the long run.
I know myself; to expect to get together with Mr Hunkalicious Gym Bunny is unrealistic. I tend to do things in moderation and enjoy the flexibility of a more relaxed way of healthy living. Why complain that I can’t land Brad Pitt (ohmigawd, drool forever!) when my man and I complement each other?
Adjusting our expectations is just common sense when it comes to relationships, yah?
Wishing you fun,