From time to time, I write about having fat friends. Jobs and appearances are not important factors where friendships are concerned; all that is needed is a nice, drama-free personality. Yes, few of my friends are slobs. I’m even cordial to those people! We just don’t hang out since we don’t have shopping, clothes and other vain stuff girls do in common.
People assume things about me in the comments sections of articles. None of these comments were made with any intent to harm or hurt another individual. It is my preference and opinion and, frequently, the opinions are valid. Who can deny that leading a healthy lifestyle is better than excessive indulgence? Who can deny that feeling light, fresh and cleansed is better than panting with the slightest physical activity?
And if I find slim attractive, it’s my right and my preference. I did NOT, in any way, call fat people ugly/hideous or any of the more derogatory terms real fat shamers use. If some of my fat friends want to lose weight, I reach out to help them. Yet, I’ve been called shallow, vapid, etc etc etc. My question is, HOW have I been any of these?
Some body positive/fat acceptance/HAES LIARS want the whole world to tell them they’re beautiful. What they need is a reality check. Hello, I don’t expect everyone to find me beautiful. Nobody owes me that and, similarly, nobody owes you that. NOBODY. What they want is external validation about their appearance, not respect.
I don’t need to find you beautiful for us to be friends. You don’t need to find me beautiful either. But we CAN be courteous and cordial to each other. We don’t need to insult each other. This is respect. Not finding each other beautiful isn’t. Heck, some people say I’m too skinny, when really, I’m at a healthy weight for my height and frame.
I’ll write about respect vs validation in another entry. But here’s food for thought. We can seek to control others or seek to control ourselves. If we place our happiness in others’ hands, we lose control of our lives because we’re dependent on others’ opinions, etc. When we’re in control of ourselves, this is where we can tap into true confidence. Our own. And nobody can take that away from us.
Wishing you fun,